Guardian
by Genkaku-chan
Summary: Green Rider one-shot. The reflections of one of the GR characters after his death.


Disclaimer: If I owned it would I be writing fanfic? Well, actually yes I probably would, but I'd be doing it on a much better computer. I don't own it.  
  
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I never really meant to hurt you, though I know I did. I just couldn't figure out another way to do it, to get everything I wanted, including you.  
  
It's all that damn Coblebay's fault. If he hadn't warned you, you wouldn't have run from me. We could've started off on a better note. We could've had everything. I would have given you everything if you'd just done what I said. It would've been perfect.  
  
Well, maybe not. I have to admit; it took a while before I stopped seeing you as the pathetic waste of space most mortals are. But I was wrong, no matter what, you eluded me, and you'll never know how much of an accomplishment that was. I've always gotten what I wanted. By my hand or another's, everything I've desired was given to me. And so it baffled me when I wanted your capture, and I didn't get it. I thought it was just Immerez's incompetence, but no, no, that bumbling fool wasn't the reason, it was you. I found that out when I tried myself. Either by luck or skill, you managed to escape me, even working through the pain I caused you.  
  
I though I had you up on that hill. You're ridiculous little protector was nearly dead, and you lay gripped in the claws of an unbelievable agony. All that was left was to kill Zachary, therefore eradicate my challenge to both unbelievable power and you. I loved the spirit you showed while trying to fight me off with your puny little saber, and with the little energy it took to fend you off, I spent the rest imagining how it would be to bend that spirit. Not break it, certainly not. I never want you broken, only submissive to me, no one else. I had hoped when you stared blankly at your broken sword that you had given up fighting me. The magic was only precautionary, to stop you from fighting me until my business was finished and I could treat you as I should. But still you challenged me. You summoned the strength to tackle me despite your pain, and then happened upon that accursed moonstone.  
  
I was never so surprised as when you split my stomach open, no one had ever managed to hurt me. You were the first. And the last as well, I suppose, being the one who killed me.  
  
And now I'm stuck in this infernal place. Stuck between worlds.  
  
Do you know what immortality is?  
  
No. You already answered that question once. Well, since your mortal mind cannot fathom its reaches, I'll explain in the simplest terms possible. It means I cannot die. Then how could you kill me, now that's the tricky part.  
  
You didn't.  
  
Though I'm not exactly alive and well, neither am I dead and gone, I simply exist. Neither here, nor there, and yet everywhere.  
  
I know this place by heart. Logical, since this is my new "home" and I have an uncountable amount of time to unearth all it's hidden secrets. I spend most my time in the place you visited with me, where we played that game. So clever of you to find the only true way out. As I said, my promises were not false, they were simply a last ditch effort to have my cake and eat it too. Wooing you to my side would have given me both the power I craved and you. I knew you wouldn't be so swayed, but what's that human phrase? Can't blame a guy for trying? Yes, that's quite perfect. I knew you wouldn't take me up on the offer, but I had to try, or kick myself for all eternity for an opportunity lost.  
  
I already kick myself for not sweeping you away at the ball. I couldn't resist a dance, but I foolishly thought it wiser to keep an aura of mystery, staying silent and watchful. I know now that it was a missed opportunity, but hindsight's always 20/20.  
  
I also knew you would never sit down to play the last game. We both knew you'd lose, and it was fine with me not to play. We could've spent eternity here together. Eternity with you, surely in that time I could have swayed you to my side. But no, I underestimated you again, and you figured out that one damn, infernal loophole that gave you the happy ending, and left me stuck here in this land of nothing.  
  
So I've been watching you "from above" as they might say. Like some type of guardian. I stopped my magic from killing you when you split the gem, but I didn't remove it completely. It was my tie to you, my only way to keep track of you, and help you while you remain down there, and I am stuck up here.  
  
I used that tie to help you fight Mornhavon, I gave you the ability to time travel. During those times you would come through here, through my realm, and those were the closest I've been to you since my "death". But something held me back from truly reaching you, probably that damn first rider; she sure is one pesty little specter, most mortals are, both in life and death. Especially that foolish rider, and idiot-king of yours. They both pursue you in their own ways, though they should realize it's fruitless. You have a temperament that requires more than either of them could offer you.  
  
The rider, your foolish protector from the hill, seems to have realized that, or something like it. He pulled back from the game for one reason or another, it doesn't matter which, he's saved himself from the brute of my wrath by leaving you be. The king, however, was not so wise, and when I get out of this hell, I will tear him shred from shred. Not only did he continue to pursue you, even after he had decided on marriage to that other mortal, but he was low enough to truly consider keeping you as a mistress! Despicable! You deserve so much more than that mortal king, whether as mistress or queen. Both positions are beneath you.  
  
You deserve so much more than any of them could offer you. You deserved what I could offer you, to be immortal, to be queen of all the world, not just one kingdom. But you turned it down. I'll never understand why.  
  
What else can I offer you?  
  
For now, only my protection. From danger. From the vermin who flock to you. From the world that is unworthy of you. I'll keep you from being tainted by all of them, until I can find a way to come back. And then I'll fix the problems that were between us, we'll be together, rule the world, and live forever.  
  
But that's the future, and for now, I am where I am, and watching over you, as your guardian.  
  
A/N: Okay in case you didn't figure it out, the speaker is Shawdell and he's thinking about Karigan. I know, you're probably all horrified at the pairing but I couldn't resist writing something for GR that wasn't cannon. I like Zachary and Alton, but there's just something so compelling about the bad guys, besides, every time I read the book I just can't help noticing all the little insinuations for some type of relationship between them and from that spawned this.  
  
Love it, hate it, it doesn't matter, just so long as you acknowledge it. Please review. 


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